Dipping a Toe

Coming out in July has it's advantages, firstly in my city it's when we're celebrating Pride.  I was nervous about this for a few different reasons.  I didn't know if I was ready to immerse myself in the community, be out in the community and try to join in.

But, there was a big part of me that wanted to be part of this special time.  I wanted to be at Pride, enjoy the festivities, feel the love and the spectacle.

For some of those who I came out to (who were also in the know about such things) they asked me if I was going to Pride.  I was hesitant to tell them yes or no.  Would they want to go with me?  Would they want a report on the activities and events?

My friends were a big reason why I felt comfortable to go to Pride events.  They offered to come along with me, lend their support and have some fun.

But I still wasn't ready.  So tonight I dipped my toe in the water.

I went to the low key Pride event that happens in our downtown core with my parents.  This was very calculated, and a plan of mine that finally (finally!) worked. 

Sidenote: I'm a planner.  A real serious planner.  These past four weeks none of my plans have worked.  Ever.  This is a big deal that I followed through on one.

Last week I told my parents that I wanted to check out Pride with them.  It was strategic.  My dad has been less than open with my process, and when I initially told my mom it was accompanied by me telling her not to talk to me about it at all.  Great.  Soon after, I realized that I wanted to talk to her.  Big time.  And that's how I invited them to Pride.  My mom agreed right away, and was ridiculously on board.  My dad?  He needed a threat to come along.

Tonight was low key, our city is big, but Pride is only just starting to become a bigger event.  We walked around, picked up a couple of pamphlets, some ice cream and watched some drag queens sing Petula Clark and Annie Lennox.  

This was followed by a very sweet drag queen, name Spirit reading a statement.  It started off sounding like the "It Gets Better" video statements, but then it got better.  My mom stood next to me and put her arm around me.  Tears welled up and I felt supported.  It felt good.

My dad took pictures, and didn't say too much.  But he was there, and that felt awesome, too.

So tonight I dipped a toe in the water of Pride.  Not going as an ally, but as a member of the GLTB community.  Tomorrow?  I'm diving right in.

 

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